Thursday, June 16, 2011

There's still hope for me...a GOOD parenting moment

So lately my little "angel" has been really pushing my buttons.  Correction, she has been slamming, punching, kicking, (you pick the adjective) my buttons.  Either way it hasn't been pretty.  Quite frankly, I haven't been the best at handling it either.  A lot of "don't talk back to me young lady"; "you're not 3 your 6 act like it!"; "stop being mean to your brother" and "if you can't play nicely go play by yourself".  On Tuesday, after a particularly BAD Monday, I had what Oprah refers to as an "Ah-Ha!" moment.  I started thinking "Something more is going on here".  After a few probing questions that were met with "yes Mummy" and "I don't know Mummy",  I came around to school and girls.  "Honey, is everything ok at school? Are the girls being nice to you? How's Amber been lately?" Whammo! I finally ask the right question. "Well..." she said timidly, "Amber and Shir have been a little mean to me lately." Of course my first instinct was to bad mouth those mean little girls but well, I have to be a grown up and they ARE only 6, so instead I said "Really? What's going on? Shir is usually very nice to you." Immediately Alexa perked up and began spilling her guts, "Shir is usually nice to me but sometimes she's better friends with Amber and then they are mean to me and won't play with me and my feelings get hurt."  I got down on my knees, took her by the hands,  looked her in the eye and said "Listen Alexa, no matter WHAT anybody says to you, you are a VERY special little girl inside and out.  You are beautiful inside and out and LOTS and LOTS of people love you and know how very special you are.  God made you special. There is NO other girl in the world like Alexa and that makes you VERY special.  Do you understand? I love you, Daddy loves you, Nick loves you..." and I proceeded to list every member of our family. (that list is too long to recreate here) and told her "Always remember how very very special you are!".  She beamed the biggest happiest smile back it me and I thought "FINALLY! I got it RIGHT!!" She gave me a big big hug and do you know what?  We had a great afternoon and she played beautifully with her little brother.  I felt proud but also a bit sad afterwards.  Sad that at only 6 she is dealing with friend issues that sting and hurt, sad that I let it fester so long, sad that I was SO damn busy I didn't take 5 minutes to tell her she was special! Yesterday morning as I kissed her goodbye I reminded her, "remember, you are special and LOTS of people love you!" She smiled back at me and today I she came home happy.  It feels good to finally get some of this parenting thing RIGHT! Now onto my next mistake.....


  1. Hi Suz:
    This parenting thing isn't easy at all is it....I'm finding out more and more each day!! I hate (strong word I know) mean kids. UUugghhhh!! Nice work figuring it all out! :O)

  2. This is my petition for stricter FDA label laws, please find me on FB stacey sleurs blodgett, my sweet 3 year old almost died last week from undeclared peanut in a Thomas mini bagel.